Selfish Me

So isn't one of the purposes of blogging a way to get things off your chest? Life is not always full of good times and happy moments if any of us believe that we are kidding ourselves.

It has been a couple of really tough weeks. Just when I think I am so ready to move on with my life and leave the past behind I am so reminded of how alone I feel. Last weekend it was my Mom's stroke,. I felt so alone when I had no one to go home to for comfort and support. Praise be to the Lord she only had a small stroke and the only thing really affected is her speech which the doctors feel will come back to normal with time and some speech therapy. She sounds like she talks with a mouth full of marbles and it is very hard to understand her on the phone. We are so very lucky that is the worst of it and she was home in time to spend her 87th birthday on Saturday back at home.

This weekend brought more feelings of hopelessness and loneliness. Bob's family came to town on Saturday, spent some time at Chris and Nikki's and went out for dinner. They spent the night at the Ramkota but it was so difficult for me to know they were in town and I was not apart of their time here. It is so frustrating for me that I just cannot get over the whole divorce and just move on. I have worked really hard at it but I guess not hard enough.

I know in so many ways I am blessed how does everyone else do this? What is wrong with me?
Sometimes I so hate my life. I know that Lora will be so disappointed in me but it is what it is.

Today I was told that I was selfish. Maybe I am.