Is It Really ALMOST Over?

Election Day is over but we still have to get through today. I am so ready for the commercials to stop and the signs to come down. Anyone else feel that way?

Most people who know me know I am a registered Democrat but I really think I should be an Independent as I do not entirely agree with either party ever and I have over the years voted both ways. I, like a lot of people I think, would like campaigning to get back to focusing on themselves and get rid of the negative talk. Somehow I am not sure that will ever happen. I would like to hear more about the people that, should they be elected President, they will be appointing because those are the people who will be advising and influencing decisions.

Now that this historical election is for all intents and purposes over, no matter what outcome you were hoping for, I think we need to begin praying for God to give Obama the wisdom to do what is right for our country. I for one am rather excited for the future but have no illusions that things will get better quickly. We will not be able to get out of the mess that has been created over the last 8 years overnight and I think it will take work on our part as citizens as well. I do give hats off to McCain for his concession speech we should all be so gracious.

Here in SD the hottest topic on the ballot was Measure 11 that would have banned all abortions. With exceptions for rape, incest and the life of the mother but that came with stipulations that I could not agree with. I have long been a supporter of Pro Choice. No secret there either. Now in saying that I absolutely am not Pro Abortion and I resent the suggestion of those who say that Pro Choice makes you Pro Abortion. The key word is choice. I have a problem with the government making that choice for me. I also have learned a long time ago that until you have walked in anothers shoes you have no idea what you would do. I do not think it is my business to make moral decisions for others. I remember the days before Roe vs Wade when the back street abortionists were in business and girls were dying. I find it a little ironic that some of the same people who so passionately support this measure would not vote out video lottery which destroys families and in the long run affects us all. I am pretty sure that I could find verses in the Bible that support how dangerous gambling is. In the end the Measure has been defeated once again but not dead.

So as I said it is over, the choice has been made for better for worse it is what it is. I think we should all be grateful that we live in the land of choice where we have a right to disagree with those in power. With all that is wrong with the country I for one would live nowhere else. The United States of America is still the greatest country on earth.

Selfish Me

So isn't one of the purposes of blogging a way to get things off your chest? Life is not always full of good times and happy moments if any of us believe that we are kidding ourselves.

It has been a couple of really tough weeks. Just when I think I am so ready to move on with my life and leave the past behind I am so reminded of how alone I feel. Last weekend it was my Mom's stroke,. I felt so alone when I had no one to go home to for comfort and support. Praise be to the Lord she only had a small stroke and the only thing really affected is her speech which the doctors feel will come back to normal with time and some speech therapy. She sounds like she talks with a mouth full of marbles and it is very hard to understand her on the phone. We are so very lucky that is the worst of it and she was home in time to spend her 87th birthday on Saturday back at home.

This weekend brought more feelings of hopelessness and loneliness. Bob's family came to town on Saturday, spent some time at Chris and Nikki's and went out for dinner. They spent the night at the Ramkota but it was so difficult for me to know they were in town and I was not apart of their time here. It is so frustrating for me that I just cannot get over the whole divorce and just move on. I have worked really hard at it but I guess not hard enough.

I know in so many ways I am blessed how does everyone else do this? What is wrong with me?
Sometimes I so hate my life. I know that Lora will be so disappointed in me but it is what it is.

Today I was told that I was selfish. Maybe I am.

It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want To!

Well it is no secret I am another year older.............. I didn't really cry but I could have. Thanks to my friends my birthday was more then just another day. I have such good friends!



Here I am with my Birthday Cake (cheese cake yum) Not the best picture but I never take good pictures so I am using the the one where I do not look so old. LOL.

So my friends

Karleen



Bev

Susan and Jeanne

Came out to my place we played bean bags, Susan and I were partners and Karleen and Jeanne played as partners against us they won but it was really not fair since every time Susan stepped up to toss a bean bag Jeanne tormented her. I thought I might have to break up a fight.You would have thought they would have let the birthday girl win.
We had some snacks then played Mad Gab and Catch Phrase then just sat and talked. It was a nice evening.

Thought you might like to see the cards I got.

And some of the gifts:

A Harrisburg T-shirt for me to wear when Morgan plays or Kylee performs with the Variety Club during half times. She is so cute.

A book from Susan:

Fun stuff from Jeanne:

Friendship from everyone.

Stay tuned I will tell you all about my trip to CO.

Lifelight 2008

What a difference a week makes! Labor Day weekend I spent my evenings at Lifelight and it was WARM. This past weekend not so much.

Lifelight,the biggest Free Christian Music Festival in the country,it began on a Church lawn with a couple of hundred people outgrew the lawn and was moved to the fairgrounds and then outgrew the fairgrounds and now is held at Wild Water West outside of Sioux Falls. It has been happening every Labor Day weekend in Sioux Falls for 11 years and this year was the first time I ever went. I don't know why. It was awesome! People come from all over the country it was so amazing to look out over the sea of people.




I have been to more then one outdoor music fest in my life and this has to be most well thought out and organized I have ever been to. At the Main Stage was the big acts, Switchfoot,Michael W. Smith and Casting Crowns, I heard for the first time Natalie Grant and Lincoln Brewster and many more. Lincoln Brewster was really awesome. He used to play for Steve Perry of Journey but did not feel a purpose until he started his own Christian group. There were 4 other stages, The World Stage which featured more ethnic music, the Children's Stage, Souled Out, which was jam packed with teenagers listing to alternative Christian music and the Coffehouse,with a coffeehouse feel. Something for everyone.

It was absolutely pleasant even though they estimated that there were 130,000 to 140,000 people there Sat and Sun not quite as many on Friday but still a very big crowd. It was so nice to enjoy great music, rock and roll included with people who were not loud and obnoxious,drunk and cussing. This is a place you can bring your kids hang out and relax and not have to worry about what your little ones are going to see and hear. Everyone was happy and kind to one another.

I really needed this weekend. I have struggled a lot in the last couple of years in my faith and have pretty much stayed away from Church. Not because I am mad at God but because our Church was one thing that always brought Bob and I together to start the week. It was something we did together and it has been a hard place for me to be. I found myself on the verge of tears or crying most of the time so I avoided it. The weekend has renewed my faith and made me realize the power of prayer and turning things over to God. I also owe some of this to my friends from support group.

This is Karleen sitting next to her Mom. She and I probably have the most in common.



Then there is Susan, with her around things are never boring




And Jeanne from Chicago who always makes me laugh.



I will be back next year to share a weekend with a whole bunch of people each in their own personal Faith Journey.

Purple Pride

One of the things I like best about fall is football,especially Vikings Football. I used to like fall because of my birthday but I got over that a loooong time ago.
2 weekend's ago I took my friend Susan to her first professional football game,pre-season but I don't think she cared. Sanford has several season tickets that you can sign up for a chance to buy every home game. I usually get to one a year, this year happened to be a pre-season game.

After a rocky start we left on Friday for Glencoe. The plan was I was going to get off work at 1:00 and pick Susan up at Brandon then stop at Manleys Tire and Oil by Valley Springs to get new tires put on the car(it was getting dangerous), then proceed on our way to Glencoe to spend the evening with Joan. Well you know what they say about the best laid plans.

It must have been about 11:30 when Susan called me at work and I knew right away something was wrong. She had made her last stop on her list before leaving town, went out to her car and nothing. She was very upset but I said there was nothing going on that night that we had to be there for so we would just play it my ear. Actually things went really well. She had her car towed to Graham Tire, they thought they could have it done in about 3 hours. Turned out she did not have her packing done so after I left work I picked her up took her home to pack and I went to get the new tires put on. That did not take long! I barely got sat down, read about two pages in my book and they were calling my name. I headed back to Susan's we got her stuff in the car stopped at the post office then went to get her car. We only had to wait about 15 minutes, a new battery,a starter and about $400 and we were out the door. Since I had not had any lunch I told her I was running through Micky D's for a hamburger so I would meet her at her house. Who ever thought it would take longer to get a Big Mac then to get new tires on your car! But it did and I am not exaggerating! Susan thought I got lost.

Anyway back to the trip. We finally got on our way and made really good time to Joan's where we had a really nice dinner.

Saturday Joan and I let Susan sleep and we went off to search the Glencoe citywide garage sales for bargains. Found a few. (no books, I could have bought some but I restrained myself)Back at the house Susan had awoke and was ready for the day. She and I headed to Hutch to have lunch with a co-worker of mine who just moved to Hutch and my girlfriend Maureen, after which we went to Maureen's shop and tried on some REALLY expensive clothes. OMG I had no idea that expensive clothes feel that different! If I only had the money! Sadly I had to put them all back on the hangers and walk away. We headed to the cities where we went to the Mall of America and I settled for 2 pairs of $12 jeans at Old Navy.

So here is where the Purple pride comes in... we drove into Mpls and found a primo parking place, that we did not even have to pay for right across from the Dome. I am sure Susan had no idea what to expect but she was so excited even though she did not really know a thing about football. It was fun for me to explain the game and answer her questions of "why did they have to give them the ball." Being a pre season game it was not very exciting for me but it was for her. We had alot of fun and Susan being Susan made friends with everyone around us. I hope someday I can take her back for a real game! Doubtful that I could embarrass her with my enthusiasm for the Purple and Gold, I mean this is a women who yells at the screen in the movie theatre,but I sure think it would be fun trying!

Hate to see summer go but I sure love the fall!

Olympic Spirit

I have been spending most of my evenings watching the Olympics. I have watched every Olympics since I was in high school going back to Olga Korbit making history with her unbelievable moves on the uneven bars. What seemed like an impossibility in the 70's is now routine. And so it goes. I remember Mark Spitz and his 7 gold medals won with out a swim cap and a store bought swimming suit. No doubt Michael Phelps accomplishments are amazing but they still do not take away from Marks amazing feat 30 some years ago. I love watching these amazing human specimens do things with their bodies that most of us consider impossible. I love the emotion of it all and can feel the joy of the winners and feel the pain and disappointment of those who fall short. I have seen some of the most heartwarming moments some absolutely unforgettable. Who will ever forget the rag tag American Hockey team that was not even supposed to medal win Olympic Gold. Hard not to be proud to be an American when you watch history like that being made. There was the gymnast named Kerri who landed a vault on one leg after she sprained her ankle so that she could help the US win a medal. What do these athletes have that the rest of us don't beside the talent. What drives them do be so disciplined to train for so many years for one brief moment. Even more heartwarming then the winners are those who do it all knowing there is absolutely no chance of winning a medal. This year the women's beach volleyball team who play for gold tonight have captured my attention. Go USA!
I guess when they talk about someone having heart they had these amazing people in mind.

Catching Up, Again

I got in trouble again today from my daughter. "Mom I am tired of looking at the same blog." I guess sometimes my life is just that boring that I really do not have much to say. But I suppose I should be able to find something to talk about after 2 weeks.

Toby and I are doing pretty good.The training is going really well and he is really catching on. We are starting to develop a kind of routine. We try to take a walk in the morning and in the evening. He has started to go to the door and just sits there until I let him out then he always goes poop or potty. The leash is going well too. He no longer flops around on it like a fish on a fishing pole. He does love the kids and is always distracted by them. They love him as well. There are a lot of dogs in the neighborhood and some tend to go a little crazy when we walk by but so far he has not barked back. He rarely barks at all but he does know how to cry when he has to go into the kennel. At night when it is time for bed he is always ready to settle down. He has only woke me up 3 times in the night since I brought him home. One evening I decided to get comfortable pretty early and as usual he followed me up the stairs then cried to get up on the bed he thought that is where we were headed so I guess he has figured that out too. I know he has grown quite a bit but since I see him everyday I do not notice it as much as someone else might so I am anxious to see how much weight he has gained when we go back to the vet this month. I love my Toby he will probably be the only male I ever have in my bed again.

Lets see, I did make a trip back to Glencoe to go to the shower for the kids cousin Michael's fiance's shower. Even though Bob and I are divorced I still think of all the kids as my nieces and nephews so I am just going to call him that. Michael is Lora's age and I know she is really bummed that she cannot get home for his wedding. Anyway it was so nice to see everyone there. I was so happy to see everyone and Bob's Mom made me feel so good. The minute she saw me walk in the door she held her arms out for me to come to her. I honestly wanted to cry. She has been my mother-in-law longer then she has not and I divorced him not his family. I love them all as much as ever.

Toby and I stayed with Joan and her puppy Charlie. Joan really liked Toby but I am pretty sure that Charlie was very happy for us to go. He does not like to share Joanie with anyone.

Last Friday night my friends and I got together to watch the opening ceremonies of the Sumner Olympics. It was amazing and I can only imagine what it must have been like to actually be there. I remember the year after my high school graduation the Olympics were going to be in Canada,a bunch of us had talked about going to see them. It did not happen but it would have been a good time.

Doing My Part

Friday night some friends and I participated in Relay For Life. My friend Jeanne belongs to Curves and they needed more people to walk for their team so I said sure. Not sure why I had never done it before. We started at 7pm and I think walked until about 11pm or so. I would have loved to stay longer but I had to watch the grandkids the next day so had to save some energy for them and the night air was starting to get to me. When we started walking I was so sticky my clothes felt like they were glued to me then it became cool and damp. Most years it has taken place on the track at O'Gorman but his year they are under construction so this year it was at Roosevelt. I cannot tell you how sad it made me to walk around that track and look at the decorated luminaries honoring or in memory of someones loved one. It is very sobering to see that there is still a long way to go in the fight against cancer as the In Memory far out numbered the In Honor of. I personally lost my Auntie Jeanette to ovarian cancer and am grateful to God that my sister-in-law is a cancer survivor. Addison's Godmother is also a breast cancer survivor, my dear friend Maureen is a skin cancer survivor so I have hardly been untouched by it. Doubtful that any of us are. Like I said I am not sure why I have never done this before. If you get the chance take the time because if someone going through the battle can walk around the track once or maybe even twice then those of us who are healthy should be running. But for the Grace of God goes I.

Today I also did something else I have never done before. I gave blood. I had not noticed the emails asking us to sign up for the bloodmobile but when I saw it sitting there this morning I just decided it was about time I did my part. As normal for me nothing I seem to do goes very easily. After I answered all the necessary questions,had my temp and blood pressure taken and my finger pricked to be sure I had enough iron in by blood, I settled in to get stabbed by the enormous needle, so far so good the finger prick hurt worse. I have always had very low blood pressure so I should not have been surprised that it would take me 3 times as long as the normal person to fill that pint sized bag. No less then 3 people came, gave and left before I was done. But will I do it again? Absolutely. Why have I never done this before? I may have helped saved a life today.

It feels really good to do your part.

Some Days are Better then Others

Yeah some days are just better then others. Today was one of those not so great days. Not that it was that bad, we all know I have had some pretty bad days but I am just not so sure how a day that starts out pretty good can go bad.

Yesterday I spent most of my day with the grandkids, which always makes me happy. I had Trinity and Austen with me part of the day then went to Chris and Nikki's to spend the rest of the day and the night with the girls while they went down to Omaha for a surprise birthday party. Toby of coarse went with me. He did really well with one exception, Morgan had him with her in her room and he pooped which is much better then the other option. So I was very happy with him especially with the excitement of 3 little girls and two other dogs. He slept with Morgan and woke her up at 6am to go potty. Good Boy!

I enjoyed the night with the girls and other then the fighting between Morgan and Kylee over Toby they were all angels. This morning started out great. Addison slept late, Kylee came in to lay with me and Morgan and all three of the dogs slept in late, in fact I finally had to go in and get all the dogs out so they could make a trip outside. The kids came home about 12:15 so I headed home to get some work done. That is when my day went downhill.

I always feel so much better about everything when I get things done so I thought I was going to go home and really get some things done. I really did have good intentions. Well I got a load of laundry done. I have a show tomorrow so I thought I would call all her guests to remind them for her but I could not find the guest list. Then I thought I would get ready for the show, well I spent a great deal of time trying to find a piece I got at convention. I looked everywhere and I knew I had put it someplace so I would know exactly where to find it. Ha! I finally found it after about 2 hours of repeatedly looking in the same closet. I then wanted to print some things out from the Internet. Now mind you a few weeks ago my desktop power button stuck and I could not turn it on (thank goodness I have a laptop too) I finally took it in to work ( not the easiest thing to drag to work) because one of my coworkers told me she could fix it and not to bring it in to the computer geeks. Boy if I would have known it was as easy to fix as it was I would have done it myself a long time ago, but regardless I am grateful that she showed me and saved me $50. Anyway I finally got that working and got my 6 month old printer hooked up. So tonight I wanted to print and the printer is not working. Austen was up there yesterday playing on the computer and I am hoping he did not screw something up. Tonight I did not have the patience to dink around with it. It just makes me mad.

Stopped at Nicole's to see the kids and Nicole was upset because she went to church this morning and went by the shop where her father is working out of and saw that the b____ was there. I hate it that he continues to hurt the kids. But that is a whole other story. But it did not help my day.

I did not get my cleaning done and Toby had three accidents today,which is my own fault. Think I will just go to bed and start all over again tomorrow.

Addison Nicole

I thought it was about time I talked about my grand kids since they mean the world to me and since I have the cutest grand kids in the world I really should show them off.

Addison is my youngest grandchild, she is 2 years old and belongs to Chris and Nikki.
She is a little spitfire who definitely knows what she wants and though she may not always get it she sure tries. She is going to give her parents a few challenges in the years to come. She is really a good baby just very headstrong and that will probably serve her well some day.

She is such a little cutie and can be quite the little entertainer. A few nights ago I stopped by to pick up a kennel for Toby and I stayed for dinner. Addie was crabby because she was hungry and the Lord knows that she is under fed. LOL Once she had her tummy filled it became her mission to become a little clown. She kept making the funniest faces and though we tried not to laugh it was near impossible. I wish I had my camera with me. Darn.

Her birthday was July 6th and this year I think she had a better idea of what was going on. On her first birthday the candle was lit we sang happy birthday and right before our eyes the little stinker reached out and tried to grab the flame. She cried and everyone felt really bad but she came out no worse for the wear. So this year the candles were kept out of grabbing distance. When it was time to open presents she got very excited. This grandma gave her a Cabbage Patch Doll which could not come out of the box and it twisty restraints fast enough. She got some new clothes as well as other fun things but the best of all was the Little Tykes red and yellow car she got from Grandma Glee and Grandpa Ken. It of coarse needed to be put together but regardless she knew right away what it was and into the car she went, no wheels, no roof but Daddy and Grandpa worked as fast as they could to get it all together. She had a blast getting in and out the door and it kept her really busy for a long time. She has to use her Flintstone feet to make it go and hasn't quite figured it out but give her time and they will be chasing her down the block.

Gosh how did this happen it seems like only yesterday I was pulling Addison's Daddy in a wagon and now here he is with three little girls to love and take care of. Time just does not slow down and before I know it Addison will start school, get confirmed,graduate,go to college, get married have babies. Yikes I cannot think about it. But for now she is a little toddler who brings everyone so much joy. I love her so much!

Meet Toby!

Well I finally have my puppy! He is the most adorable puppy ever! I finally figured out my stinking camera but I still am having trouble getting the pictures on my blog where I want them. Sheila always has them so nicely mixed in with her writing. I am going to have to go spend some time with her to figure that out.

Back to Toby! He is so cute cuddly and wonderful. The first night I had him home we went to bed and about 1:30 in the morning he woke me up by licking my face. We went outside he did his thing then back to bed. The next night the same thing but the last two nights he did not wake me up until 5:00! Out we went and he did his thing. I think he may be very easy to train. He has only had 2 accidents in the house. Not too bad. Saturday we went to the vet and he got a clean bill of health, shots and a heart worm treat. The vet told me that I need to kennel him whenever I cannot be with him.......... something I did not want to do but the vet convinced me that is would be better for both him and I in the long run. So far while I have been working he spends his day with Nicole and her Daycare. I think this week we will do the same but for short periods of time he will be kenneled until both Toby and I agree he can be trusted.

I am so glad that I have Toby. It is so noice to have someone so glad to see me again and he already loves me so much he cries when he does not know where I am. He has already mastered the stairs both up and down although he does stand at the bottom and whine but if I just keep going pretty soon he is right there behind me. I also discovered that he can jump off my bed. Yesterday morning I sat him on my bed and went into the bathroom, I heard him crying then a thud and the next thing you know he was prancing into the bathroom. My bed is really high so I was quite shocked but it appears with his personality he will have no fear.

This morning we went on a short walk, not too far cos he is still so little, but I want him to get used to the leash. He did really well and did not try to bite or pull on it at all. At least not this morning.

Well I have so much to do today and I have to travel to Armour, SD tomorrow for work so I will close for now but just wanted to introduce my Little Toby.
You will be hearing and seeing more.

July 15th last post May 30th

Yikes I am not very good at this blogging thing. I blog then I end up sending out an email to anyone that may (may is the key word) care that I have a new post with a promise that I will do better. Maybe I would be better if someone besides my daughter and Sheila would comment so I know somebody is reading it. Or it could be that Sheila always has such hilarious things to say and beautiful pictures to go along with each story (Check it out -link on the right) and I just cannot compete with that. Maybe if I could figure out how to download from the new camera I bought until I get my Cannon back (long story) I could add pictures too. Or the more likely reason I am lazy.

Well time to catch up. I spent the beginning for June trying to catch up at work after my trip to Vegas then trying and failing badly to get ahead before I left on my trip to Chicago.

Yes I went to Chicago to the National Convention for Signature Homestyles. I had a really good time , learned a lot, got motivated, made new friends, met Frank from "Trading Spaces" and had the most embarrassing moment in recent memory.

The Good Time-it was just fun getting to know new people, I roomed with three really neat women. I had fun at the dance on Friday night -danced until 1am.

Learned a lot- I learned new ideas to help my business and how to step out of my comfort zone once in awhile.

Got Motivated - You cannot help but get motivated when you spend 3 days with smart, successful and positive women.

Made new Friends- oh about 10

Met Frank- I went to Frank's workshop and he was right there but I actually met him the night before when we opened our hotel room door and found him standing across the hall in front of his room hanging out his breakfast menu.

Embarrassing Moment- UGH this takes a little explanation. Prior to leaving for Chicago I was having trouble with pains and numbness in my legs so went to see the doctor and he says I have neropathay and put me on the new drug Lryica ( it is advertised for restless leg syndrome). One of the very common side affects is that it can make you feel a little loopy and tired until your body gets used to taking it. Well Friday morning I took my pill like a good girl and went to a general assembly where I did a lot of moving around and I did not notice any issues so the next morning I took my pill again, like a good girl, and headed down to a seminar given by a woman, her name escapes me, but she is an expert in direct sales and she was really interesting and very good. It was in a small room with maybe 5o people at the most. Melanie and I sat in the second row. I was taking notes as fast as I could then all of the sudden my writing became unreadable -enthus&%$&and I realized I was dozing off. Try as hard as I might I could not stay alert and I about fell asleep on the shoulder of the lady next to me! The worst part is that I am sure that the woman presenting saw me struggling to stay awake! I was so embarrassed!!!

July came and I spent a couple of days in Viborg, SD supporting a "go live" (IT talk for scaring the crap out of a whole bunch of clinic employees by changing their software) Never been to Viborg before. Next week I get to go to Armour, SD yeah.

My brother and sister-in-law came on July 3rd from IN. My mother was so happy to see them as were the rest of us. I spent as much time as I could with them while they were here but it is never enough. The 4th was spent with as much of our family as could be there out at Jeanne and Scott's We ate, talked, laughed and played bean bag toss. Jeanne and I lost to our "Mean Big Brothers" (actually we let them win because they are so much older then us LOL)

So here it is the middle of July, I do have some really exciting news. I have grass! Amazing how the older you get the more excited you get about things like that. I can now open my windows without clouds of black dirt blowing in and I don't have to look at the weeds and sunflowers growing where the grass should be.

Oh and I have an accomplishment- My friends Susan and Jeanne called on Sunday and wanted me to go for a bike ride on the bike trail with them. It was a beautiful day, perfect for biking but I don't have a bike. Jeanne says no problem I will bring my daughters bike. So at noon off I went to meet them. Not sure what I was thinking I don't think I have rode a bike since I was pregnant with Chris and we all know how long ago that was. Well off we went, I quickly discovered that I had on the totally wrong shorts, can you say camel toe? In the end we rode from Yankton Trial to the statue of David and back which my sister says has to be about 7 miles one way, she would know she runs it enough. 14 miles was I crazy? I felt really bad because Susan and Jeanne must have rode at least 20 miles because they always had to turn around and come find me to be sure I was still coming. Sometimes I had to get off and push but I rode the whole way and I am Proud of myself. I had no idea I was sooo out of shape. Think I better buy a bike of my own and do more riding before they will take me out with them again.

But here is my really big news........I am finally getting my puppy tomorrow night!!!!!!! He is so cute! He is a Shihpoo not a recognized breed( a designer dog) Have some name in mind but will wait for the final decision until I get him home. It will be so nice to come home and find someone there waiting and very happy to see me again! Unconditional Love!

Guess I better figure out how to get pictures from my camera to my computer!

Our Trip to Vegas

My first trip to Vegas went way too fast! From the crowds of people and the way money was being spent you would never know the economy is as bad as it is however I am not sure how many people were from the states. Everywhere we went there were many people speaking a language we could not understand or spoke with an accent. The one thing I was very surprised at was all the people who bring there kids! In my opinion Vegas is not a place for kids. They do not call it Sin City for no reason, and "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas", although I would say not exactly true, but it kind of suggests that people do things there they would not do at home.



The minute you step off the plane you realize you are somewhere different. The slot machines, and not just one or two, are right there in your face. It is a big airport but really very easy to get around in. Not like Denver where I get nervous every time.



Sunday began VERY early. Up at 3 am and on the way to the airport by 3:45. Plane was on time so by a little after 5 we were on our way to Minneapolis. In Minneapolis we had just enough time there to get something to eat make a restroom stop then head for the gate to catch our flight to Vegas. Shelby and I did not have seats together on this flight. Shelby had a window seat and for her it was a short flight. She was down for the count before the plane ever left the ground! I had a middle seat so I settled in for a long flight with my book, every other page I read I found my chin on my chest so I did get a little snoozing in.

We got to Treasure Island about an hour before we could try and check in so we found something to eat. Checked in at 11:00 and we were lucky enough to get a room that was ready so we got our room right away, and took a nap.................... well we were tired and we thought if we were going to go out that night we had better rest a little.

Once we had out nap in we kept pretty busy the rest of the time. We saw a few shows. Cirque Du Soleil Mystere was definitely the highlight. We saw Fat Elvis, that was a free show definitely not a highlight. We did a lot of walking, shopping, spent time by the pool where I decided I don't look too bad in a bathing suit, people watched and just had a good time. The last night we took the double decker bus down to the original Vegas Strip. Went into the Plaza were the Rat Back performed and we did a little gambling at the Golden Nugget I lost $20 and I think Shelby won maybe $5. That is about the only gambling we did.

If you had plenty of money to spend you could stay in Vegas for a long time with out running out of shows to see and things to see but after a few days you kind of get tired of all the casino noise everywhere you go. I would go there again but it would not be my first vacation destination choice. I can at least say I have been there and nothing I did in Vegas needs to stay in Vegas! But there was the stalking incident...... The night we were waiting in line for Mystere Shelby pointed out this you guy who she was absolutely convinced was somebody she had seen on TV. American Idol, maybe the Disney Channel. To me he just looked a young guy. For the rest of our time there it was like either we were stalking him or he us because we always seemed to be in the same place. It drove Shelby absolutely crazy that she could not figure out who he was! The morning we were leaving again he showed up where we were eating breakfast. Shelby actually made me take a picture of him while pretending to take a picture of her! Still she could not figure out who he was. Me I had not a clue. Then he showed up at the airport to get on the same flight as us! Since the pictures from the restarant were not very good she decided to pretend she was texting but really used her cell phone to take more pictures. She was convinced that her daughter would know who he was. All of a sudden she started laughing so hard I thought she was going to fall off the chair. She had figured out who he was.............. WHEN SHE STARTED HER OLD PART TIME JOB AT HY VEE HE WAS IN ORIENTATION WITH HER! Are you kidding me.............. She even lost sleep over this! At least the mystery was over.

I may not have won big but I did come home with three new pairs of shoes!!!!!!!!!!!!!

37 1/2 Hours and Counting

That is approximately how long on until I am on a plane on my way to Vegas!! I cannot wait to feel the hot sun! Gosh it just seems like it is never going to get warm here!

I made it through the week at work. I feel really bad because I am leaving at a really bad time. We has a few major changes this week mandated by CMS (a government organization that controls Medicare and is responsible for HIPAA, the reason you were asked about a hundred times if you had signed a HIPPA Release and why you have to give up your first born to find out medical information about that first born) and we have 6 new Rural Health (yuck) clinics going live July 1st and I could go on and on............let's just say I have job security. I feel bad for my co-workers left behind to clean up my issues that just couldn't be resolved by the end of the day.

I did have one really nice surprise this week. We have this thing called Service Excellence, a program to recognize employees each quarter who have been nominated for exhibiting excellence in what ever the cornerstone is for the quarter. I think this one was Teamwork. Anyway if you are nominated you are invited to a luncheon with door prizes and the winner of the award gets $500. Well to toot my own horn I was nominated.

So with only 37 1/2 hours and counting I should be washing clothes, packing or something to be getting ready. That was the plan for tonight but friends called and asked if I wanted to go to a movie at 7:45 and that sounded like a lot more fun. Tomorrow will go fast now since I have so much to do before I leave town. Go to the bank, pick a couple of last minute things at the store, wash clothes, iron, pack, go spend a little time with my Mom, tan one more time, get my haircut, pay my bills..................Am I crazy? I should not go anywhere tonight............. Oh well I work much better under pressure.

Yes I Am Alive

It has been over a month since I last blogged. Yikes time goes way too fast! A lot of things have transpired since then. I moved, went to Prom, attended a few graduations, finished level one of support group, worked, worked some more, went to a few soccer games and saw a couple of movies.
I am all moved in to my new place, pretty much settled just have a few more pictures to hang. It is really nice and quiet here and it is so nice to have an attached garage. I am sure I will really appreciate it this winter. Not all the townhouses are inhabited yet but I think they all spoken for. I am expecting a neighbor this weekend. I am anxious for the weather to straighten up and the sod to be put down so that maybe I can get out and meet a few of my neighbors. I have still been looking for a puppy but I am waiting until I have grass. Not so much in favor of potty training in the mud. I was so excited, I was able to get some of my perennials from the house and got them planted. My bleeding heart was looking kind of sad but it is really perking up. I am really hoping that the day lily will at least bloom. My sister brought me a really nice pot of flowers but I have several pots I want to fill yet. Once they get done with the landscaping I will be able to plant some more. That makes me so happy. I have an extra bedroom now with a very nice bed in it so I do expect some visitors this summer.
The Prom- well it really wasn't a Prom it was an interactive play called 80's Prom Night at Who Dunnit High. I few of my friends and I dressed up in formals and had a really good time. They gave us all name tags with funny names. I was Dolly Llama. My friends were Frieda Gough, Faye Slift, Ella Vader and gosh, I cannot remember Karleen's name. Bill Fold sat at out table too. If you ever get a chance to go to an interactive play, go it is so much fun. I have never been to Tony and Tina's Wedding, that is probably the most well known interactive play.
At the beginning of the year I thought I would not have any graduations this year. Not true. As time marches on I must be in denial about how old I am because I had four! The 10th I traveled down to Randolph for Moriah Lindemoen's and Luke Borst's graduation. Graduation ceremony's in small towns are so much more enjoyable to attend. They are very personal and everyone knows most of the kids. I was very surprised that I found myself tearing up as I watched Moriah walk in all grown up, happy and proud. I remember the day she was born like it was yesterday, I held a baby shower in her honor, I just could not believe she is moving on to the next new and exciting stage in her life. Last weekend was my Great Niece Stacy's graduation. She had a beautiful day for it. My sister and I brought my Mom,it is always good to get her out for awhile. Stacy looked so pretty and I know she is looking forward to everything that lays ahead. We did not go to Commencement, in larger schools it is not personal at all and even the parents sometimes wish it to hurry up and get over. This coming weekend is my sister's step daughter Maddie;s. She had the most beautiful announcements. How much more creative they are these days. You rarely see the formal graduation announcements even my own kids had.
Support group is over until fall when I will go back for level 2, although I will continue spending time with the friends I made through it. We have a Canaries and a Storm game planned in June and we are looking forward to the Jazz Fest in July. We can always seem to find something to do. Last Friday night I was just about ready to go to bed when I got a call to go to a late movie. I did not get home that night until 1:30. Now that is late for me.
Kylee and Austen are finished with soccer. It was not the best spring for soccer. Even most of the make up games got rained or snowed out. Austen, despite the short season really improved this season. He scored one goal and had shots at several others but at age eight he still has not quite got all the control he needs. At this age it starts getting really fun to watch, they are starting to figure out positions but still tend to all go where the ball is. Kylee and her little teammates are just having fun. At 6 years old they do not really play positions, there is no goalie so the score really doesn't matter it is about learning and getting used to kicking the ball around. They are so cute and I have noticed that girls are sometimes more aggressive then boys. She started T-ball practice this week so I have those games to look forward to.
So now that I have caught up.... I need to finish packing because on Sunday morning it is off to Vegas Baby!

It's Friday!

The week seemed to fly by. Not sure if that is a good thing or not. But it is what it is....

Got my stitches out today. Dr Siedel kept saying "I'm sorry I know that hurts. I am trying to be gentle" Was he kidding me!!!!!! Compared to the lidocaine shots, all 50 of them, I got before the stitches went in, it felt like he was tickling me! Okay I didn't have 50 shots in the chin but it had to be at least 10! So the stitches are out. I no longer feel like I have whiskers growing out of my chin. It is still a little red, bruised a lovely yellow and just a little bit puffy. I don't look like I have quite the witches chin I had before. I wonder if the other person who came in the same night I did got their stitches out today. Yeah the nurse was jut delighted to tell me that that they had two patients with their chins split that night but the other one was 16 months old. Thank you for making me feel even more like an accident prone klutz, Sandy "the 60 something gay male nurse with the earring in his ear." Sorry I was just about 7 hours past exhausted when he said that.

Last Saturday, prior to my fateful decision to go out with friends, Chris, Kylee and I went out to the Second Chance Rescue Center to take a look at the dogs. We spent some time with a cute little rat terrier but I was not feeling it. Lots of big dogs but not so many little no shedding dogs. We had fun though looking at all the girls and boys waiting for just the right home. You do fell kind of bad when they look at you with those "take me home please" eyes and then you walk away. They had some really big boys there, sure would not like to feed them, they were bigger then Kylee, looked like they could have eaten Addison good thing she stayed home and napped.
Chris keeps telling me to just get a puppy so we can bond. I do not know what to do. I paid my deposit on my new place this week and I was told I could have a dog and did not need to pay an additional deposit. Just get a rider on my renters insurance for a domestic pet. They are making this too easy for me.

I still do not know for sure if I will have to wait until the end of May to move. The manager here at Carrington Court told me you just never know someone can walk in that day and need a place right away. This weekend is supposed to be nice so maybe this weekend ... regardless I have so much to do around here but no ambition to do it. Maybe if I had a move date it would motivate me. I have to keep the place presentable because I never know when the place will be shown, there is packing I could do and junk to go through. Next weekend is the big Kingswood Rummages and Shelby is going to have one so I would like to get some things ready for that. Actually it really isn't next weekend. That is the way it started but over the years it has started earlier every year so by Saturday it is almost over. I think she is going to start setting up on Sunday night and open on Wed. Hope I can sell some of the clothes I bought last year and cannot get into anymore. Praise the Lord because I know I was too thin, I felt too thin. Now I just wish I could figure out how to get rid of the muffin top around my pants. If it was coming out of my bra I would not care. My mom used to always tell me just wait some day you will have breasts well I am 50 now mom and I am still waiting!!!!!!!

I'm Just Saying............

I'm just saying it's always something....... Rosanna Rosanna Danna
Last night I went with my friends Jeannie and Susan to play bunco with another singles group, Karleen and Bev were there as well. If you know anything about bunco not everyone plays it totally the same but no matter what you goal is to stay at the #1 table. I got lucky and had a head start. I started on table 1 and once in a while I went to #2 and only once I had to go to table #3. In the end Bev and I tied for most wins and so we had a roll off and I won. It was a fun night, I had a good time, met some new people and had some good conversations. I had left my car at Jeannie's and it had been a long day I was tired when Jeannie, Susan, Karleen and I headed to our cars around 11:30. I am really not sure what happened but all of a sudden as we were crossing the street I felt myself falling forward. Now if you read my blog you know that I fell twice this winter on the ice and managed to escape with bumps, bruises, and a sore ass. Well this time I was just not quite so lucky. I thought I was catching myself but then I knew I was not going to recover. I just remember thinking this is going to hurt, then everyone says I fell right on my stomach,that I do not remember,then my chin hit the asphalt and I just heard thunk. Didn't really feel much, thought I probably scrapped my chin until I rolled over and heard Susan say "Oh Kim, Oh Kim!" I think I kind of went into shock because as they were helping me back into the house I was dizzy, sweating and sick to my stomach but I did manage to find the kitchen floor without fainting or pukeing and totally embarrassing myself anymore then I already had. After much conversation around me a call to a neighbor that is a nurse to come take a look and me just trying nog to get sick or pass out, it was decided that I really needed to go to the emergency room. Jeannie and Susan took me, they called Chris and he met us there. They stayed for a while but it was soooo busy there I kept telling them to go home they finally left around 1:30. Well the short version is after, a neck collar, because my neck and shoulder blades hurt, a neck and head CT scan and 7 stitches in my chin ,Chris and I got back to his house about 6:30am. I have to say I have one of the best son's in the world. He totally took care of me and never once complained how long it was taking that he was tired or that I ruined his weekend. I felt so bad that today he would have to take time away from his family to sleep because of me. No matter how much I feel sorry for myself, my kids constantly remind me of how blessed I really am. I have a son who is caring, kind and worries more about others then himself. He held his mothers hand as she was getting sick to her stomach as the first stitches went in(I usually am pretty tough when it comes to things like this but I think it was because it was on my face) he held my hand as we went to the car when it was finally time to go home. I love him so much, he has become my rock.

So it is always something...............at least I hit my chin and not my nose!

Is it Really April?

When I looked at the calendar it says April 10th but when I look out my window it says January!
Will this ever end? I'm sure it will but you know come on............. It's kind of like when I was trying to potty train my kids, my mother always said "Don't worry she won't get married in diapers." That's how the elusive spring feels,you know it will come it just feels like never.

The week is going fast and I have not accomplished much. Last Friday night I went with my group friends to see the newest National Treasure. It was really good. My friend Susan is such a free spirit. When we went to the Stampede Hockey game, the Stampede was way ahead so she decided to cheer the other team on "to make the game more exciting" She almost got us beat up! Not really people thought it was funny. Friday night at the movies when a character was being very unpatriotic she yells " boo, hiss."

I have started tanning again, I cannot wear skirts to work with my white legs and quite frankly I am pretty sick of the clothes I have been wearing all winter. I have another reason to get a little color. Shelby and I have booked a trip to Las Vegas the end of May. I think I am crazy because I will probably be moving around that time too. Her kids are going on vacation with their dad that week so it works out. Shelby turns 40 this August so she wanted to go this year and we thought August would be too hot. We are leaving early, and I mean early on Sunday and coming back Wed evening. That should be about the right amount of time in "Sin City" Neither of us are gamblers so the pool, the sites the shopping will be what we are about. Should be fun, I have never been there although my 25 year old daughter as been there, hum let me see, three times!

My friends Mike and Rita just found out they are going to be grandparents!!! How exciting for them. There is nothing better then having grandchildren. The love you feel for them is something indescribable. And that goes for the first as well as the 5th. What a reward for surviving raising your own kids! Last night I watched an episode of Jon & Kate Plus Eight. If you have never watched it you should. They had had twins then they had sextuplets! Just think of the grandchildren they will have someday, if they survive. By the way my first born, my only son, turned 32 this week. How did that happen!

Well time for bed. Maybe this crappy weather will get so bad we have no work tomorrow.... I have my yearly review. Yikes!

Moving On

It has been a couple of days (or more) since I last posted so I thought I had better get to it before I get in trouble with my daughter again. Actually I do have a few new things to talk about.

Last night the support group started again so now I am in Level One. Three of my friends from Newlys moved on as well so we thought we were all going to be together again. Well the three of them are but I am in a different group. They said they wouldn't be in the same group either except there was not enough people this session for more then two groups. I am okay with it but you would think they could have least gave me one familiar face. We still went out for coffee after group and I know we will continue to do things together. This past Sunday 5 of us went bowling and then out for dinner. We had a good time and I didn't even bowl too bad.

Getting back to group, there are only four of us and 2 facilitators much smaller then the first group. This time if somebody is missing it is really going to make a difference. It is kind of uncomfortable having to tell your story all over again. We were all so comfortable with each other. Hopefully I will get to that point again with the new group. My original group was made up of people who all had been in long marriages with older children, this time it is just the opposite. Hopefully I will continue to grow from this and get one step closer to feeling well again.

I also have some exciting news, at least I think it is exciting. I am moving! I found a townhouse/condo that I can lease with the option to buy and it will be brand new! It is in the northwest part of town, pretty quiet. I will have an attached garage, 3 bedrooms, a little outdoor living space, backyard and I can plant flowers! I am so excited about that. I get a little yard but I do not have to mow or shovel snow! I am so excited to see who my neighbors will be. My townhouse will be ready by the end of this month but I had to give 60 days notice here. I talked to Cheryl the manager and she said my place will be the only open townhouse so if they can rent it by the end of the month I can leave then. So keep your fingers crossed. The bad thing is that they will also be showing my place so no leaving messes when I go to work! I have put the dog on hold for now but I can have one there, I just have to pay a pet deposit but my monthly lease payment would not be any higher. Maybe after I get settled in and save the deposit I will start looking again.

Well morning will be here before I know it so better get some sleep. I have a lot to do in the next few weeks.

Dog or no Dog

My friend Sheila just got a little kitty and she is so cute. I think she named her Clairee but I am not sure because the last time she blogged she hadn't settled for sure. Well Clairee got me thinking again about a dog.

A few weeks ago I started thinking about how nice it would be to have someone waiting to greet me when I get home. Someone who loves me no matter what. I know I can have a pet in my townhouse because the guy next door has a little rat terrier named Madison, I am just not sure how much more a month it will cost me. The problem is it just cannot be any dog. He/she has to be small, does not shed and most importantly has to be housebroken so a puppy is out. I am just no good at that. I had to give up my little Shitzu Cloe because I could not get her trained. I was not willing to give up because she was so cute and lovable but Bob pretty much made me choose. Should have kept the puppy. So with all the requirements in mind I have been watching the Humane Society and Second Chance Rescue Center websites for just the right dog. A few weeks ago the Humane Society had a 10 year old shitzu. He was housebroken and all so I thought I would just go out and take a look at him. I think his name was Benji and because he was so old he was a deal, only $35. Is that how it is with humans too, the older you are the better bargain you are? The Humane Society is a busy place, there were a lot of people there some were doing the paperwork to take home a dog or a cat others were looking for just the right pet or in one of the little rooms they have to spend a little one on one time with one of the many cute little adoptable fur balls waiting for a home. It did not take me long to find Benji so I asked if I could take him to one of the little rooms. Benji was put on a leash and off we went to spend some time together. Well I don't know if Benji was hard of hearing or just did not like me because he would not give me the time of day! He was not very anxious to make a good impression so after about 10 minutes of trying to get him to even act a little excited to be getting some attention I took Benji back. No connection, obviously Benji was not looking for the same thing in a companion I am looking for. Since that day I have checked the websites quite often and I always seem to be just a little too late. Every little dog that seems like they may just be The One, already has a big Adopted banner across his or her picture. I have not given up I will continue to be on the lookout for the perfect pet that will be excited to see me when I get home, to go for walks with me and just love me unconditionally.

I wonder if I am crazy but if Sheila can handle the cat hair I think I can handle the love.

Okay,Okay

So my daughter emailed me today to scold me about my lack of blogging. I have really fallen down on my commitment to myself. So Lora I will try to do better. My life is just really not that interesting so maybe I need to work on that as well.

I did do something really fun last Sat. I was beginning to feel sick on Friday night so I really wasn't sure on Sat night if I really wanted to go but I had already spent $38 on the ticket so I figured I better go. Rocky, a guy in my divorced group had suggested that we all go to see Finnegan's Farwell an interactive play. It was so much fun and if you ever have a chance to go to an interactive play go! I have not not laughed that hard in a long time. It was so much fun to actually be part of the play. When we arrived we signed a guest book and payed our respects to Patrick Finnegan, there was a casket, memory boards, the works. The fun begins as you wait for the funeral to begin, the cast mingles with the guests in character. The funeral takes place and you are part of it as events continue to unfold. We were then guided to the sports bar for the Irish reception where we had dinner, danced and listened to the reading of the will as more events unfolded. It was hilarious! The only thing that could have been better is if I would have been feeling better. What a good sport Rocky was to go with 6 crazy women.

Next month they are doing 80's Prom Night at Whodunnit High, a Murder Mystery. They encourage you to come dressed like you are going to the Prom. How fun is that!

Last night was registration for level one of the divorce support group. Not everyone in my group is coming back. They do not all think they need it. I am sure I do but more importantly I enjoy having that obligation each week and talking with others who really truly know what you are going through. In the 9 weeks I spent in the Newly group I made a few good friends, most of whom I would not have normally been drawn to. I am looking forward to starting this new group with a few people I have already grown close to and a few new faces. Another opportunity to make some more new friends.

Friends.. I have been so blessed with the absolute best. Life in the past two years has not been the kindest to me but God did give me friends, really good friends and you can never have enough of them. So here is to all my friends, the ones I have known for years and years, the ones who tell me when I am making a mistake or how it really is, the ones that support me no matter what, the ones who listen to my bitching, the ones who make me laugh and sometimes cry, the ones I see everyday at work and make it one of the big reasons why I like my job, the ones that laugh at me when I try to be funny, the ones I have only know for a little while and to those I have yet to meet!

Yup I am blessed!

Home Again

Got home last night from my trip to Fort Worth. It was so nice to get away for a few days. I left on Wed night with my friend Shelby and her kids Mitch and Alyssa went as far as Council Bluffs. Thursday we had a nice drive until we got south of Oklahoma City. We started seeing cars coming from the south with snow on them! What the heck we were supposed to going where the snow seldom falls! The roads were still good but the closer we got to Texas it started to spit a little snow and the trees had snow on them so it had obviously had been snowing. We hit Texas and I thought we were in SD again. It was no longer snowing but it had snowed 7 inches north of Dallas/Fort Worth! The roads were not bad but there was inches of slushy crap on the side of the roads and it was icy in spots. There were cars pulled over and in the ditch all along the way. Turns out they had not had that much snow there since 1942! Fort Worth only had enough to cover the ground and it melted the next day. Each day we were there it got nicer, Sunday was BEAUTIFUL!

On Friday we went to the Fort Worth Stockyards and to Billy Bobs it was a required cheer event. I must say if you never get there you have not missed much. Every hour starting at 11:30 they herd longhorns down the street, a whole 10 of them. Billy Bobs was nothing special either. They had line dancing lessons for the girls (and anyone else) and the kids seemed to enjoy that but as soon as we could we were outta there! We drove up to Grapevine to the mall there and shopped until about 6:30 or so headed back to the hotel and got dinner on the way home, think we ate at Bennigan's that night. We wanted to find a place that we could not eat at here in SF but most places looked a little scary. (We are all kind of picky eaters)

Saturday we went to the Texas Speedway for a tour and got to do two laps around the track. I am not much into Nascar but it was fun and I know Mitch really enjoyed it. It was only fair since he had two days of cheer to sit through.

After lunch we headed to the Fort Worth Convention Center for a long day of cheerleading. Alyssa is on a competition team for Dakota Spirit and I had never been to a competition before but had seen them perform so I really wasn't sure what to expect. Dakota Spirit has 5 competition teams at 2 different levels but for this competition they only took 4, the little Mini's known as Atomic stayed home. OMG but cheerleading is REALLY serious down there. The DS teams did an awesome job but it was clear this would be a learning experience for them. Fusion,was one of 12 teams in the Small(meaning the size of your team) Youth level 2 and they ended up with 10th place. Blaze Large Junior level 3 team (Alyssa's team) was one out of 3 in that level they came in third. the other two teams both are level 4 teams and they each only had one other team to compete against they both took second. This was after 2 days of competition. In all there was at least 100! They are required to stay until all the DS teams have competed so I think we left Sat night after 9:30. It was a long day.

Sunday we got up went to the Waffle House for breakfast about 10:00 then headed to downtown Fort Worth. It was so beautiful out we walked around and browsed the shops until we had to get back to the Convention Center around 2:45. Sunday did not seem as long as Sat. and the girls of coarse had all wanted to do better since they are used to getting 1st place at competitions but like I said this was serious cheerleading country, after all it wasn't that many years ago a Mom was convicted for plotting to kill her daughters competitor!

Monday we headed home and got back around 9:00 but crazy me did not take today off so it was right to work today.

I have to say Shelby kids were so good and Mitch was a real trooper as I sure watching cheerleading for 2 days would not be his idea of the best way to spend a weekend. They never stressed me out once in fact they were a lot of fun to be around.

Shelby and I are thinking of planning another trip in May, without kids to Las Vegas.

As much as I love getting away it is always nice to be home again!

This and That

March already! The good thing about that is we are one month closer to spring!

The weekend is over and once again I did not even get close to getting done what I had on my list. Oh well it is not going anywhere, no little elves are waiting under my bed to work their magic while I sleep, but I think they make messes instead.

Lora, the little brat, left for Hawaii last Monday. She called a couple of times and she and her friends are having a great time. Yesterday the girls went on a shark adventure. They went into the sea in cages with sharks swimming all around them. She said it was amazing. What I thought was funny is that not one the guys had the guts to go. Truth be told she amazes me with her sense of adventure. When she does find the right man and settle down she will truly be ready.

Monday was also I little hard for me. It would have been our 30th Anniversary, but I made it through it and I am still alive. Last year at this time I had begun my journey into a very dark and difficult place and it feels like I have moved mountains since then. That and gained about 20lbs.

The rest of the week went fast and I had the day off on Friday because I had two doctors appt so I just took a vacation day, it just made more sense. Went to have my reading eye checked out in the morning. Having the lasik surgery on my eyes is one of the best investments I have made and I am soooooooo glad I had it done and by the best in the country no less! I have 20/20 in my reading eye and 20/20 in my distance eye and together they work really well. Just wish I could thread a needle and read the back of a pill bottle but that is just another part of middle age! It is just frustrating.

I did do something really stupid on Monday night. I had quite a few things I wanted to get done so when I got home from work I drank a Red Bull. BIG MISTAKE! HUGE! I can drink cups of coffee at 10:00 at night and it does not keep me up but no Red Bull for me at 4pm. I watched about 6 episodes of Jon and Kate Plus 8 and still no sleep would come. I think I finally fell asleep about 3am and my alarm went off at 5am. Never again!!

Tomorrow I have to get my rear in gear. Shelby and I are leaving for Texas on Wed afternoon so I really only have tomorrow to get my house in order, laundry done, bills paid and packing done. Group on Tues night so won't really have much time for anything that night. I am really looking forward to getting out of town and warmer weather. I hope it is sunny and 65 the whole time we are there!

Got my shopping sort of done today. I bought new tennis shoes, that was way past due. I think the pair I have been wearing were 10 years old! I also bought a new digital camera. I have a nice Cannon but it is a little bigger. This new one is much smaller,easier to take along. I also bought red sweater for 5.99. Sheby's daughter is in Dakota Spirit and they have two days of competition in Fort Worth. Their colors are red, white and blue so to avoid sticking out like a sore thumb with the group of parents I need to blend in. This is serious competition. Shelby said she heard they are really serious down there. I told her that is what I would expect since we will be in the heart of serious cheerleader and pageant moms. It should be fun and we will be there early and are not leaving until Monday so we are planning on getting a few things in that have nothing to do with cheer.

Well it is getting late and my 20/20 eyes are getting plenty heavy so I will go for now. I have got to get my bed moved to the outside wall! Whoever lives in the apartment behind me snores so bad! I usually try to beat him to sleep but that doesn't happen too often!

Long Winter

This is really turning in to a long winter and it better end pretty soon before I break something, Seriously, I fell on the ice again on Friday night! In my own driveway no less. When I came home from work I just pulled the car into the driveway instead of into the garage because I was going to stop to see Trinity and then go on to a Stampede game in a couple of hours. I had kicked off two blocks of snow that had accumulated between the front tires and the mudflaps. (Another thing I love about winter) I figured better in the driveway then in my garage. When I went to leave for the game I decided to kick the clumps of dirty snow out of the driveway and lets just say it is not a good idea to kick something on a sheet of ice! So once again I have a sore butt. At least this time I did not hit my head. It just came to me that maybe I should not go to a Stampede game because the last time I fell I had been planning on going to a game the next night.

Getting up in the morning is also a challenge for me, something I never used to have trouble doing. Oh my gosh I have trouble getting out of bed some mornings and I am sure it is because of the weather. It is not like I hate to go to work, I mean I wouldn't mind staying home a couple of days a week, but I really like my job. Things have got to change. I hate getting up and rushing around to get to work on time. I would much rather get up take my time getting ready have a relaxing cup of coffee. I don't even get my bed made in the morning!

I have this thing about the bed, I hate getting into an unmade bed. Call me crazy, but if I don't get it made in the morning I have to get it done when I come home. I know, I know I am only a few hours away from getting right back in it. I realized the other day that for the past year I have had a queen sized bed all to myself and yet I sleep on one side at the edge of the bed. I guess habits are hard to break. I should just get a twin sized bed. The sheets are cheaper.

Maybe tonight I will live outside the box and sleep in the middle!

Valentine's Day

No flowers and candy for me today but I feel really lucky because I have 4 big Valentine's ( my kids) and 5 little Valentines ( my grandkids) and nobody could ask for more then a loving family. I think Valentine's Day is overrated anyway. Don't get me wrong I am not jaded about love, I still believe it and I hope I have someone to love me and share my life with again someday.
Went to see my three little girls tonight, they make my heart smile. Morgan is on the verge of becoming a teenager and that is so scary for me. I wish I could keep them all little and not let them out in this cruel world. Kylee is just a ball of energy, wish I had a fourth of it. She is just the most good natured little girl and so much her fathers daughter. Addison is the little spitfire with a mind of her own. She is absolutely adorable with her little pigtails in her hair and her cubby little baby waddle. I love them all so much.
I will see my other two little sweethearts tomorrow. I did talk to Trinity, she talks on the phone like she is older then her four years. She is a litttle sweetie. Did not get to talk to Austen and it is getting too late tonight. He is my special Valentine because he is my only grandson. Soon he will be eight years old. So hard to believe.
I may not have a Valentine to send me flowers and tell me how much he loves me but I have one of the greatest gifts God can give us, my kids and my grandkids and that makes me very lucky in love.

Catching Up

Where have I been? I did not realize it has been about two weeks since my last posting. I have been a busy women. For me that is a good thing. I finally had my first Signature HomeStyles Show last weekend! I have been spending alot of time getting ready, I had videos to watch, mannuals to read and getting questions answered. I just wanted to know as much as possible about all the products and the company. I got so much information my brain was on overload. With my head full of product knowledge and a feeling of excitement I took off for MN last Friday afternoon to Joan's house. Being the great friend that she is she became my first hostess on Saturday afternoon. Everything went really well and I know this is going to be a good way for me to get out and meet people. I spent the rest of the weekend in Glencoe. Sunday was Super Bowl Sunday and I had decided that I was not coming back until Monday. The game was fun to watch and it was nice not to watch it alone. I did pay the price though as my fears of traveling to MN in Feb came true. Monday the weather was crabby! The roads were certainly not the worse I have ever driven on but it was a long ride and I was very glad to see my place.

I am, like almost everyone I know, waiting very patiently (Not! it really cannot get here soon enough) for spring to come! I still have not decided if I am going to look for a different place to live before summer gets here. There are the pros and the cons. The thought of moving makes me think no I should just stay right where I am, but I really miss having outdoor space. What to do, what to do. I really like the space I have here and the location is great for me. Enough of that because when I start thinking about my living space I think about the house I left and I just don't need to go there.

Tuesday nights are spent at my support group. We are reading a book that I probably should have read a year ago but maybe I would not have been receptive to it. The scary thing about it is that I could put my name in the place of the names used in the book. I am beginning to realize that there is a light at the end of this deep dark tunnel I have been living in. I listen to some of those in my group and wonder if I ever sounded like them and I realize I most likely did. I have learned there are a lot of sad stories out there. The best thing is that I am starting to feel like I have a life to live again and that I do have a future. What it is I do not have any idea but it feels so good to at least be able to look towards it. That is not to say I do not have my bad days because I do and that is not to say that I do not miss him because I do but I am learning to accept the way things are.

Housekeeping

I always thought that my kids were the mess makers but when you live alone you find out the real truth about yourself. It may have been me the whole time! Me, myself and I live in this 2 bedroom, 2 bath townhouse and it seems to always be a mess. Every other day I leave for work and say to myself, "when I get home tonight I am not going to bed until I have this place whipped back into shape". I get home and I think I am just going to sit and finish watching Oprah or check my email, other then getting up to get something to eat or go to the bathroom, that is about as far as I get! I think I just don't care that much anymore.
To be fair to myself I did have two kids who always seemed to leave a trail wherever they went. It always seemed easier to leave the wrapper on the table, counter top or floor then put it in the garbage. But it is true the more things change the more they stay the same. Now that Lora lives on her own she does a pretty good job keeping a nice place but when she comes home.... well I'll just put it this way, I can tell exactly where she has been and her suitcase looks like it threw up in my office.
My kids always accused me of cleaning all the time (which really was not true) that would no longer be an issue. I think the biggest difference is whatever the mess, now it is MY mess. So why do I morn for the days when I cleaned up every one's mess? Maybe it is just the energy I had that I miss. Then again I think I miss both.

Winter Woes

Yuck not only was it cold today but it snowed way more then the weather man said it would but why should that surprise me? Are they ever right? There is a syndrome called SAD that people get in the winter months from lack of sunshine. It is treated by using sunlamps. I am sure those lights were turned on full blast today. It was a day that a good ten minutes in a tanning bed would have felt really nice. It is just too cold to make any unnecessary stops! I really do not like winter and the older I get the more I hate it.

Still no word on my car and no check either,but then there was no mail today. Hopefully the check will come tomorrow because if my car is done I don't know what I will do. Sure don't want the shop holding my car hostage. I am also anxiously awaiting the estimate on the damage to my rear bumper. If I can afford to get that fixed I will have to wait until it is nice outside so I can walk to work otherwise I will have to spring for a rental.

I was kind of lazy tonight did not do much more then eat some dinner and wash up my dirty dishes,which by the way only serves to dry my hands out more then they already are. Winter is tough on out bodies as well as our cars and the pocketbook paying for those higher heat bills. It is really hard for me to find much that I like about winter. I will admit that the snow can be beautiful and we have had some beautiful days where the sun shines and the trees glisten with frost but I still like the warm weather better. I don't remember hating winter when I was a kid in Southwest Minnesota. Maybe it is because when we are young we do not mind playing outside until our toes were numb and getting to stay home from school when the roads were too bad to travel. Maybe it is because we had so much fun sledding from the roof and down the hill into the woods. Oh to be young again!

My Weekend

I had a busy weekend and it felt really good. I am beginning to feel like I have a life again. Despite the bitter cold, of which I have had enough, I don't have much to complain about. I spent most of Saturday at Morgan's basketball tournament in Lennox. The first game was at noon and they won it 34 to 2. This put them in the winners bracket and the worse they could do was finish 4th out of 8 teams. The next game was a low scoring game but a really tough. Those girls from Sioux City were mean. The refs refused to call fouls so there was something like 200 jump balls! Keep in mind these are only 5th grade girls. They lost but fought hard. It always amazes me when I watch them play how well they handle the ball and how serious they are. After that game we all went to Pizza Ranch and those composed serious girls turned into giggly little girls again. The last game was for 3rd place. Again a low scoring game and they had a chance to win but the earlier game had just taken too much out of them. We were so proud of Morgan, she got an elbow in the nose and we saw tears but she kept on playing until her coach noticed and pulled her out. It was a fun day but a pretty long one for Addie. She is just not used to having to sit in one place for a long period of time. She just has to be on the go all the time. We got back home about 8pm and I am sure the little pumpkin went right to bed.

Today was Morgan's first communion. Mom decided that she would venture out for church. I am not sure how much she really gets out of it. We have contemporary music which I know she is not used to and today Pastor Mel had the sermon and I think she has a hard time hearing her, but she did get to take communion with Morgan and that made it worth it. There was brunch at Chris and Nikki's but she declined to go there. She did not want to have to go out in the cold again but the real reason is then she would not get her noon meal at the apartments and she pays for that in her rent you know! Bob did come to church and to the kids for brunch but we did not talk much to each other and it really did not bother me. I think I am beginning to really let go.

Ran to Target and got a few things "I had to have" (I love those 75% off signs) and a prescription filled. Got my laundry done and finished my required reading for Tuesday night, I still have to do the questions. I also started a new book, a start on that bin I have to empty before I can buy anymore books.

As I type this I just watched the Giants miss what would have been a winning field goal with only 4 seconds left in a tied game against the Packers. As much as it pains me to say it I am glad. Packers won the toss as well so if they can just move the ball and get at least a field goal they are Super Bowl bound. Oh no Farve just got intercepted!!!! I keep thinking about the crazy people in the stands sitting outside in that freezing weather, are they nuts? Here goes another kick by the Giants and it.............is...................good! Damm! Won't be much of a Super Bowl again this year.

Still don't have my car back from the shop. I may not get it back until Tuesday. Luckily the insurance is extending my rental.

It sounds like this week we will not see much relief from the cold. The only positive thing I can say is that when it is 30 degrees again it will feel like a heat wave.

Back to work tomorrow.........The weekend just goes by too fast!

Bad Day/Good Day

I should have known that this was going to be a hard day when Austen decided to be ornery this morning. He is absolutely not a morning person. I could not get the little bugger up to get ready for school this morning. I tickled, I pulled the covers off, I took the pillow away,I pulled him off the couch. I told him that I guessed he could not stay over night on a school night again. He said he did not care. We'll see the next time he wants to stay. Yikes! Glad I do not have to deal with him every morning. I love him to death but he sure is stubborn. I am going to have him again on Friday night but it will be a whole different story on Saturday morning. I will be the one that wants to stay in bed. Nicole and Shannon are going to Omaha, his sister had her baby this morning. Austen is not going along because he is going to the Skyforce game with his friend Chase on Saturday night and spending the night there. I am sure he will enjoy that much more then driving to Omaha and back.

I knew before I ever even left for work this morning it was going to be a hard day. It was my coworker Amy's last day today. Amy is young enough to be my daughter, a hard worker and smart. I really liked to work with her and she and I think a lot alike. When she said she was leaving for a new opportunity I had really mixed emotions. I was very happy for her but felt bad for the rest of us. We were losing a wonderful coworker. She got a job for a company out of Minneapolis which does consulting with hospitals and clinics that use the same software we use at Sanford. She will be doing a lot of traveling but will stay living in Sioux Falls. This is the best time in her life for this, no husband, no kids. I felt so bad for her all day it was very hard for her and tears were shed. Amy, Congrats and enjoy the adventure! You are the best. The only thing good about it was we had treat day to help ease the pain of her departure. I could have grazed all day. Lois brought square dance bars and I had my fair share.

It really wasn't all bad today, I got my hair cut, which always feels good but I am always disappointed because I can never make it look the same as it does when I leave the salon. I just need Angi to come to my house every morning and blow it out for me! You think she would go for that? Ha! Sometimes I think it would be easier to do a Brittney and shave it off and just wear wigs. Not really but it is a thought.

I also got enough shows booked to order my case for my new business adventure. So that was exciting. This new life of my is getting busier and that is a good thing.